My God. It's Vivisection in the Drawing Room!

3.27.2010

FIN DE SIECLE: When Katla Blows

Molten torrents continue to spring forth from Mount Eyjafjallajokull, as scientists eye the glacial cap that is slowly melting atop Mt. Katla. The ice over Katla is the only thing sealing the massive volcano against rupture, and therefore the only thing stopping a "global deep freeze" from likely ensuing. This is scientific extrapolation corroborated by history: when Katla unleashed its ire in the 1700s, it froze the Mississippi River.

The big freeze would go something like this: as hot lava runoff from Eyjafjallajokull unsettles the ice on Katla, a resulting eruption would expel tons of ash into the stratosphere and prevent solar rays from reaching the earth's surface. Here we have a perfectly natural, organic response to our planet's warming, and one that doesn't include rocketing two-foot-wide disks of silicon nitride into its orbit!

No comments:

Post a Comment